LiFt-Y mAtTeRs!!

Now, we all spend a considerable time in our life using the LIFT...going up floors for those of us who hate climbing the stairs...and some of us on rigorous diets..do cheat occasionally by using the lift...instead of climbing the stairs..then we have the lazy people(read i me myself) who make no efforts whatsoever in climbing stairs even if its just a floor that they have to climb..lifts, my friend!!... are invented to use...so i would appreciate if people did not give me that look!!.(even though it reads- for "old and disabled people"...dude!! m tired!!)...so there is a huge variety of people who utilize the luxury of the lift....and I've tried to group them..i don't really know how successfully but I've given it a go.




I) THE OPERATOR:
Now he usually is the person given the task of handling the lift..the first question that usually comes out of his mouth is "Which floor?"
I don't really know how much of English he is familiar with...but this is the one question he will always ask..taking his job very seriously!!
Also he is usually given a chair to sit on...and gets really angry when somebody presses the floor button himself/herself....he'll eye you suspiciously as if the amount of germs you seem to have left behind on  his pure and pristine lift buttons is unbearable..and yes...you could very well be after his job..showing his incompetence!!


II) THE MOBILE MAN:
"Arre..haan maine baat ki thi..but wo keh rhe the ki apna resume forward kr do..." 
"....7th floor.."
"Haan ....haaann.....kyaaa...thodaa tezz bolo....arrre main liftt me hoon........kyaaaaaa....haaaaannn.......kyaaaaa...lifttt..liiiftttt....."
"Oh gaawwdd ..is lift me to kabhi bhi network nhiiii aataa.."


I don't expect Abhishek Bachchan to come out of nowhere and ask THE MOBILE MAN to GET IDEA!!!!
I am not advertising for idea....I think Abhishek Bachchan and the conceptualization of the Idea ads is crap..but that is besides the point...
THE MOBILE MAN will always want to call up someone on his phone when he is in the lift...very well aware of the fact that neither IDEA AIRTEL VODAFONE ...nobody has good enough network in the lift!!!


III) THE SCANNER:
Now I have divided them into males and females...
Males will usually scout for hot chicks...checking out their vital stats...and thinking all sorts of crap in the head..!!! Now-a-days we do have males checking out males for the same reason....they will look from clothes ..to the phone...to the bag...to the laptop... trying to figure out...status..."married...unhappy...desperate"..."single..ready to mingle.." "paid-to-be-nice receptionist kind"


Then we have the females...checking out males..."good-looking..." "gay-like" "sincere" "mama's boy"
but females usually check of females....specially for clothes...."fake-louis vuitton...huh!! atleast she could've managed a better copy"..."oh dear!! such loud makeup....what is she training for...the circus!!! "


IV) THE PERFUME GUY/GIRL:
They will enter the lift....and from that moment..you will pray to God...to give you back your cold and cough..which took a month to get over..
The aura around them is such...that you just wish you never had a nose!!!!
The unbearably strong perfume..as if he/she spends a fortune on the the deodorant (good for the manufacturers though!!) everyday emptying a bottle...is too much to handle.!!


V) THE STARE MASTER:
He/she will look at anything and everything in the lift..the people..the fan..the buttons...the operator...he/she looks at people as if they are something to eat (i nicked that line from..twilight!!....no copyright violation I guess!!!!!)
They usually make the person around them a little conscious of their own appearance..hair.. make up!!
He will keep staring at a certain point...little things like fan ...lift authorization certificate.. intrigues him/her...which is weird...if  you are at the receiving end of the STARE!!!! BEWARE!!!


VI) THE PEEPER: 
Whatever you do on your phone...i-pod..more recently the i-pad...he will want to know and have a peep at everything..
even if its a personal message that you are sending or receiving...he will read it at a bullets speed...and try and assess your situation...personally I hate peepers!!!! I think they should get a life..as it is so annoying!!!




I guess I have broadly tried to group the various kinds of people you meet in the lift...but I'm sure there are many more interesting sights we get to see in the lift..and the list will only grow longer..!!! :) :)


JUST A THOUGHT!! :)