cOnTeMpLaTiOnS oF aN oLd MaN!!!

A farmer seldom loses sight of his fields..he caresses his crops...treats it like a child..because he has put his heart and soul into it...
All his hopes and prayers are for his crops...for d season to go well..the Rain Gods to have mercy....the land to yield him his bread and butter...
But today his mind is contemplating something...he is busy watching his youngest daughter, Asha who is swaying in the wind on her swing...the swing..both of them had together put up under her favourite Jamun tree..


"Bapu...main is jhoole se seedha aasman me udd jaungi..maa se milkar aaungi"

and I used to laugh and cry...

 "Tu udd jayegi to mera dhyan kaun rakhega??"


I used to laugh at her innocence...and I used to cry at my fate!! Things just fall into place...the good and the bad..!!

I had two sons and two daughters...all of whom I loved dearly...my biggest regret...was that i could not let my daughters go to school...I still remember..Kavita asking me..

"Bapu...Kishan aur Dheeraj bhaiya to master ji ke pass padhne jate hai..main kyun nahi!!! mujhe bhi padhna hai..!!"


I slapped her once when she did not stop asking me about school...I still regret the day..how was I suppose to tell her...that she was not suppose to study...she had to remain confined in the four walls of the house doing household chores...that had to be her life!!

And that is what actually happened in the end....Kavita is married to Rakesh..who works as an electrician in Sahibabad.


 Asha was always very sharp and inquisitive..she tried to grasp as much as she could from whatever little old tattered books she could grab hold of...I never stopped her..but I knew whatever she was doing had to be futile!!

I still cant bring myself to terms with the reality...what would she think of me when she grew up..she was bound to hate me..after all that I was going to make her go through...I had never imagined that...

I have lost sight of my fields not because I don't love them..but because they are not mine....!!!! My sons left the village to study in the city...but since then have not returned..the only time I heard about them was from the Mukhiya's son...who told me about their drug addiction....the zamindar has seized my only assest..my land..the land I put my heart and soul in...my only remembrance of the good times...that they were real...!!

"Bapu..shehar me to kitna kuch hoga na....meri saheli bata rahi thi ki waha bohot bade bade ghar hote hai...par mujhe gaon ki yaad ayegi...main Ajeet bhaiya ke saath kyun ja rahi hoon...aap kyun nahi chal rahe...aap kab aaoge???"


Ajeet is the zamindar's son..and also the owner of a Kotha in Bombay...he fancied Asha for a long time...I always kept her protected from the evil eyes of Ajeet...but here is when I lose...
I know how Asha will remember me...The Father Who Could Not Save His Daughter..

I wave back to Asha as she boards the train to Bombay...with a promise that I will join her soon!! A promise I will never be able to fulfill..!!!!